Skip to main content

A not quite comprehensive list of things I worry about as a new mom

  • Making sure I hold them enough 
  • Making sure I don’t hold them too much
  • Making sure I hold them equally 
  • Letting them sleep in my bed
  • Not letting them sleep in my bed
  • Are they eating enough
  • Are they eating too much? These good pouches say they’re for 12 months and up
  • Are they getting the same amount of love
  • Do people favor one more than the other?
  • Are they developing at the same pace?
  • Does it actually matter if they develop at the same pace?
  • I should be letting them try to feed themselves with utensils more
  • Cleaning up after them trying to feed themselves with utensils takes so long it cuts into other activities time
  • What if they learn how to take off their poopy diapers?
  • What if they play in it?
  • Will babies get pink eye?
  • When I bathe them together, someone will end up loose in the bathroom. Baby WILL try to lick the toilet. 
  • Should I be giving them more floor time outside of the playpen?
  • If they fall on wood or laminate it’s a lot harder on their lil noggins…
  • Would I be a crazy person if I got them those little inflatable helmets?
  • I should be spending more time helping them learn to walk holding my hands 
  • Baby shoes are the worst. The sizes are all over the place and I can’t tell when they’re on right
  • Do they have enough people in their little circle?
  • Will I ever have time for myself?
  • How do other twin moms get their babies to take regular naps. Aside from going for a drive, one always wakes up when I set them down. Always.
  • Maybe I’m bad at this
  • Can they eat XYZ? Will they choke? The internet says it’s okay….. but it still seems bad…. I’m not gonna do it.
  • With me being their sole caregiver 24/7 will they freak out if I leave them with a sitter?
  • Can they eat ABC? …. Better not to chance it…..
  • Are they too hot?
  • Are they too cold
  • How can I file their toenails without waking them up?
  • Am I letting them watch too much Ms. Rachel?
  • Can I survive without Ms. Rachel?
  • If I let them do XYZ they could get sick
  • What if they get RSV?
  • What if they get it so bad they need hospitalization?
  • Can’t hide away from life trying to avoid getting sick
  • Babies getting sick is scary
  • Do they love each other?
  • Are they happy?
  • Why’s she doing that with her hand isn’t that a sign of autism?
  • Why’s she doing that with her legs? Isn’t that a sign of autism?
  • Why isn’t she responding when I call her name now? Isn’t that a sign of autism?
  • How do I teach them to be good people?
  • I need to read more parenting books
  • Just because it’s in a book doesn’t mean it works 
  • How much damage can helicoptering over them to keep them safe really do?
  • I’m not doing enough
  • What if it never gets easier?
  • Are they getting enough from just me? I don’t have a second parent sounding board. I make all the decisions… what if they’re not the right ones?
  • What if something happens to me?
  • What if something happens to one or both of them?
  • I don’t want to drive in the snow alone, let alone w babies. 
  • Sometimes I think I’ve completely lost it 
  • Should I be letting them play with that?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dating and the Future - Part 2

** Trigger warning: This post contains a photo that may be hard to look at, specifically if you knew and loved Jamie. It is a photo from the mortuary, from the last time I saw him before he was cremated. The photo is from a distance but I still wanted to put the warning so you could continue to read at your own risk. I've been sitting on this post for a little while, letting it ruminate in my head for a bit, unsure what direction I even want to go in while writing it. Also... How much sharing is over sharing? Ya know, who cares. I'm an open book. I signed up for online dating a couple weeks ago. For the first couple hours it was exciting and exhilirating. But that shine wore off awful fast and turned into being both over and underwhelming at the same time. Overwhelmed with the quantity of messages and "likes" and underwhelmed with the quality of them. But what I found myself doing, was reading these profiles and looking at these men and trying to look past my first im...
Post a Comment
Read more

The 34th Anniversary of Michaela's Kidnapping

I sit here, on November 18th trying to put my thoughts together for an organized and well written blog post for Michaela's anniversary on the 19th. It's the first one without my mom. The first year that she's not here to write something herself. I feel the need to write something spectacular and heart warming to honor them both, even though I know nothing I come up with would be as good as what my momma would have written. And as with most things I've tried to write over the last few years, I feel it will probably look more like a jumble of thoughts and emotions that could have been put together by an ADHD squirrel. On top of that, what is there new to say, that my mom hasn't already said 1,000 times? Still, I will try.  My family has always known great loss. My whole life (or what I can remember, at least) has always had a shadow of loss hanging over it. But these last few years have REALLY hit us hard. First with the loss of Karina, my older brother's wife at ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Blog 3/27/23 - I don’t have a title in me at the moment.

I haven’t even started writing this blog and I’m already not sure if I’ll post it. I’ve been in kind of a funk today. Letting my low self esteem get the best of me.  I think it started with my grand idea earlier today (technically, yesterday, I guess. Since It’s after midnight.) that I was going to watch some cheesy rom com. I saw a clip from the movie on TikTok and it seemed to be about a down on her luck single mom with some fate and destiny themes thrown in. So I was like “that seems nice and lighthearted!” So I decided to give it a watch. I hadn’t watched anything for myself in weeks, maybe even months. It started with a quote. “There are only two ways to live your life One is as though nothing is a miracle The other is as though everything is.” I thought “FANTASTIC! Love me some miracles!” But then as it turned out, it was a movie about a down on her luck WIDOW mom. Which was a little closer to home than I’d planned, but I kept watching it anyway. And of course the mov...
Post a Comment
Read more