Adventures in Motherhood

 I would like to preface this post by asking for understanding in any typos or autocorrected mistakes. I’m writing this on my phone because my computer is downstairs and I am holding a sleeping baby. 

There are the things everyone knows about motherhood, “You won’t get any sleep.” And all the rest of the obvious changes to your life…. But there are things that sprang up at me, unawares. The little things I wasn’t prepared for… like what to do when you have two snoozing babies in your bed and you have to pee. (This one may be specific to us only parents. I prefer this term over ‘single parent’ because that implies a secondary caregiver… which we don’t have.) or how very many different butt creams there are, and you will develop a *preference* on which are acceptable. Note: desitin stinks…. But A&D: the smell makes me gag. You will have to ask the pharmacist which kind of vaginal yeast infection cream is best for diaper rash because you weren’t aware that there was basically Monistat 3-100. Then as you walk around the store with grown woman vagina infection cream in your cart… and everyone and their mother wants to stop and look at your babies… you remember what it was like to be 15 and embarrassed to buy tampons. You have to suppress the urge to say “That’s not for me. That’s for the babies.” To every person who stops you. Alternatively you can hide it underneath everything else like your underwear at the gynecologist’s office. You guys have seen that TikTok, right? 

You know that you’ll feel crazy, that you’ll second guess yourself all the time and feel like you don’t know what you’re doing…. But even though you know these things, you won’t truly understand until you’re in it. It’s not just the bad/gross/stressy stuff either. Your heart will soar like you never imagined the first time you hear them say “mama.”  Then every time after that when you tell them “say mama” it’s “dadadada” she likes him better even from beyond the grave. Or how your heart will plummet when you can’t help them and they’re crying “mama.” You’ll know they’ll sleep through the night one day, and then they won’t again, and then they will again, and you remind yourself that you’ll miss these days when they’re older and don’t want to be in your bed anymore. But that knowledge doesn’t make you any less tired. 

I still haven’t figured out how to navigate baths or showers after they graduate from the sink. The advice I’ve been given is to just let one loose on the floor while I finish with the other. The BATHROOM FLOOR. I am appalled. It’s so gross! There’s a toilet in there. “Oh just stick a laundry basket or trash can on top.” These babies would definitely stick their tiny fingers in the cracks between the toilet seat and lid. Or… Oh dear God… Lick it. Cue the dry heaving. And they’d probably pull down whatever you put on the toilet too.

But along with the chaos, every day brings with it new adventures and discoveries and new little pieces of their personality that I am so privileged to be able to help shape. I am so proud to be their mama, no matter the fact that I’m winging it, with no real idea what I’m doing.